(♪Title theme plays♪)
WAKE UP! ♪
You've got a lot to do today ♪
Feel proud and wipe your eyes, 'cause hey! ♪
Stifle the yawn, you stayed up 'til dawn, ♪
Let's see what you been workin' on... ♪
IT'S GONE! ♪
Keep in mind, the ♪
DEADLINE is closing in ♪
Your byline, the headline, they're in the bin ♪
Uncompleted... ♪
All deleted! ♪
WHAT'S GOING ON!? ♪
You'll have to crunch and work 'til dawn 'til you die! ♪
Cut out the corners, cross the Ts and dot the Is! ♪
Whip out the white-out But keep it in good taste! ♪
Just so that no one will ever know it's defaced! ♪
Epithet Erased! ♪
(Distant sounds of children playing)
MERA'S FATHER: Honey?
Your mother and I are going out, okay?
MERA: ...okay.
MERA'S FATHER: Stay in bed this time, okay?
You're not well.
You'll be healthy enough to play outside with the
other kids soon, dear.
MERA: Okay...
MERA'S FATHER: Goodbye, sweetie.
(longing sigh)
(glass cracking)
MERA (present): Episode 4: Reflection
I won't...
Hmm?
I won't go!
But... why ever not?
Lady Mera is waiting!
Because I don't wanna!
Giovanni...
Boss... stood up for me.
He got hurt for me!
And he says I should stand up for myself!
I don't wanna have my epithet taken away!
But... y-you must!
Lady Mera needs it!
I'm sorry, but I need it too!
[Molly dashes off toward the exit,
but she finds her path blocked-
INDUS: -by a barrier.]
I'm sorry, Miss.
But as a fellow bodyguard, you must understand.
I must do as Lady Mera commands.
And she commands that I capture YOU!
Ah! No, no, no! Um...
[She runs her hand along the sand in the desert exhibit,
piling it up in her palm.
As Indus reaches out to grab her,
she sprays it up into his eyes!]
AH! SAND! Sand in my eyes!
The third worst place for sand to be!
No, Miss Bodyguard!
Come back!
(heavy breathing)
Not bad, kid.
That power of yours is actually pretty impressive.
I think I'll take it.
You're no museum worker.
You're just another thief!
Aww! What was your first clue~?
Your move, genius.
I quite literally am a genius.
Which means I'm smart enough to know that I
shouldn't hold back!
Let's see what you're most afraid of!
Nightmare Fuel!
Wh... what?
Why didn't it-?
MERA: "What I'm most afraid of?"
You wanna know what I'm "most afraid of"?
I'm afraid of this.
I'm afraid of a world where
I spend the rest of my life like this.
Brittle, and creaking, and...
constantly on the verge of breaking!
I'm afraid of a life where
someone bumping up against me on the street
means a trip to the hospital!
I'm afraid that this is all there is!
But now?
I finally have an exit.
I finally have a way to leave!
And if you think you can keep me here?
Then you'd better be ready to die trying.
(Quack!)
SYLVIE: ...also ducks, apparently.
They're small and fast and they bite, okay!?
Ugh!
Whatever! Just DIE or something!
(Molly panting)
[Molly hops the rope,
and skips up the stegosaurus skeleton,
climbing her way to the top of the wall.
She takes a hesitant step onto the barrier prison and
walks it like a tightrope!]
DARK STAR: Hey, kid! What are you doing? That's dangerous!
MOLLY: Don't worry! I'm going to get you out of here!
Boss needs our help!
CRUSHER: "Boss?" Wait a second,
what are you talking about?!
INDUS: Miss? MISS!
MOLLY: There's no time!
Please, just trust me!
Ah! There you are!
Don't move! I am coming to aprehend you!
(clearly lying) Oh no, I've been caught!
I sure hope this barrier underneath me doesn't disappear!
Then I'd have nowhere to run!
HMM! You are RIGHT!
Secret Technique: UN-BARRIER!
Whoa! Aaaah!
I gotcha!
Thanks... Boss is in the next room over!
This big guy beat him up...
He's trying to catch me, and I need your help
to get away from him!
O-okay!
We'll do our best!
We're the Banzai Blasters!
Nobody messes with us!
Prepare to meet your doom!
Hwa! Hoo! Hoo-wah!!!
Hi-yah.
OOF!
Well, they tried their Bargain Bin Best.
But they bought me a few seconds and that's all I needed!
[Molly dips under the rope and begins crawling up the
tail of the apatosaurus!]
Hey! Get off of there!
One does not ride a mighty
dinosaur without its permission!
Barrier!
[Molly roots around in her
backpack and pulls out the gun Giovanni gave her.
She looks at it for a second...
and then CHUCKS it at the base of the bones!]
Hey! Do not throw guns!
I'm a bad guy now! I can do what I want!
[The dinosaur wibbles and wobbles!
its bones creak ominously as the beast begins to collapse!]
MOLLY: You should reposition your barriers if you
wanna save the dinosaur!
INDUS: Uh... uh!
Oh, I DO!
I DO want to save the dinosaur!
Hrrrrngh!!!
Hah... phew...
Thank goodness...
MOLLY: [Molly shimmies her way up the neck,
and hops into a nearby air vent on the ceiling.]
INDUS: Wh- hey, hey!
No no no no no oh...
Aww...
Phew... okay.
He shouldn't be able to follow me up here.
What are those lights up ahead?
Scootch... scootch... scootch...
Alright, let's group up into teams of three and
sweep the building.
We don't know what's going on,
how many perps there are,
or whether they're armed.
Whoa! Look at all the policemen!
I didn't think so many would show up.
That's good.
I shouldn't have to worry about Mr. Indus anymore.
HOOOO-WAAAAAH!!!
BEARDED COP: Is that man...
...carrying a dinosaur?
INDUS: Little bodyguard?! Where did you go?!
Oh! Hello police.
POLICEWOMAN: 96-18, We have a 96-18 in progress.
Subject is in possesion of a sauropod.
Bronto- possibly apatosaurus.
Requesting backup immediately.
Hah! Well!
This is awkward!
That should be a good enough distraction...
I need to get back to the others before the police find them!
Scootch scootch...
Scootch scootch!
INDUS: Epithet Erased.
Commercials are like a barrier on your TV!
GIOVANNI: Epithet Erased!
Yeah. We're back.
Counting Sheep!
(baa-tle cry)
(Mera panting)
Is... is that all you got!?
(cracking sound)
SYLVIE: I see...
Your body is too frail for your own epithet...
You can't keep this up!
It's a war of attrition then!
Counting Sheep! Defend me!
(baa-dyguarding noises)
All I have to do is survive until your own
power knocks you out!
(panting)
You think you can outlast me!?
You'd better... Watch Your Step!
(bleats of defeat)
Ah! She's fast!
AGH!
[She grabs Sylvie's
chest and clasps her fingers!
His ribs turn britttle and his breath chokes!]
Agh!
You feel that?
How your bones feel like
drywall on the verge of caving in!?
Gahk!
That's how I feel... all the time.
Most people who train their epithet figure out
new powers and ways to get around their weaknesses...
Heh...
Not me.
The more I train,
the stronger my epithet grows,
the weaker I get.
The only new trick I've found is the ability to
suck stamina out of other people.
All I can do is steal from others!
So when I heard about this amulet?
I figured why not lean into it?
Let me show you...
N-no! I won't let you!
(grunt)
Take THIS!
HYAAAAAAAAAH!!!
MERA: Did he seriously pass out from the shock?
What a weenie.
Half of my bones are broken right now and
you don't hear me complaining!
...much.
hhhrrrAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Oh. That's...
...new.
Ah... Ow...
O-oh great! And that's still happening!
BEEFTON: [Beefton stomps the ground...
He levels his horns,
...and prepares to CHARGE!]
MERA: Oh, great!
There! Let's see you get through those!
(Beefton grunts)
I wasn't SERIOUS!
[She digs her hand into the ground
and a wall of crystalline spikes
shoot up from the rubble beneath!]
HHRRRAAAAAGH!!!
Beefton will enjoy examining your cadaver!
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Dammit dammit dammit dammit!
[She balls her fist, and,
with a moment of hesitation...
DIGS it into the wall behind her,
breaking at least two of her fingers!]
(pained cries)
[A fissure snakes up from the impact,
creeping up, up, UP the wall and into the ceiling!
Crack, crack, CRACK!!!
It criss-crosses until a chunk of the roof has been
completely encircled!]
BEEFTON: Eh?
Something something,
bull in a china shop.
That's a pretty bad one-liner, but...
No one's around to hear it, so it doesn't matter! Hah!
(Molly screaming)
MERA: Wait, you were there too?
Dammit, should've said something cool after all...
Wait, no, this is perfect!
C'MERE!
(Molly screams)
[Mera's hand reaches to
grab hold of Molly's epithet.
The amulet glows an unsettling green
as her nails move to close around Molly's neck!
But something holds her back!]
Don't... touch her...
Fine!
If you can't wait your turn,
I'll take your epithet first!
Agh! Grraaaah!
[The amulet glimmers and an orange aura surrounds the boy.
It dances for a moment, fleeting...
...and then rushes along Mera's outstretched arm
into the gem of the Arsene Amulet.]
(evil laughter)
Oh... I can FEEL it!
All your STRENGTH!
All your POWERS!
They're mine!
...thank you for your contribution to the
museum's collection...
Kid.
Sylvie!
Now, what did he call that ability again...?
Oh right!
Nightmare Fuel!
Oh, that's much better!
I could get used to this.
Now it's your turn, little girl.
Wait! Indus got captured by the cops!
Don't you need to go and help him?
He...?
Ugh. That idiot...
Well it's his own stupid fault.
He can get out of it himself!
But... don't you like him?
H-huh!?
W-well, I... I mean...
He's free labor, but...
MOLLY: You sound like my dad.
It's nice to have someone looking out for you.
You shouldn't take it for granted.
I don't take life advice from a toddler.
And don't bother looking for a way out.
There's no escape. [She reaches for Molly]
MOLLY: Indus told me about your epithet!
If it really hurts so much, then why...
why don't you just have somebody use
the necklace to steal it away?
You could get rid of it!
MERA: And what?!
Lose what little I've gained
from all my effort the past ten years!?
This training?
This is all I have!
Why should I have to throw away all my hard work!?!
MOLLY: You shouldn't.
W-wh...?
It's NOT fair.
I know it's not.
The world never is.
But that doesn't mean you should make other people hurt instead.
If you act a little nicer, you get a little nice back.
...usually.
MERA: ...be quiet.
If you say so.
So WHAT if other people get hurt, huh!?
I've been hurting my whole life.
I just want it to stop, for ten minutes!
Is that so wrong?!
...and now it's here.
The answer is right here!
I just have to reach out and GRAB IT!
A new life!
It's so close... I can almost hear it!
...wait. No I can't. I can't hear anything.
Why can't I hear anything!?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
(CRASH!)
(sigh)
Now that's what I call a Bear Trap.
Rwar~!
(giggles)
[Giovanni struts over to Mera's unconscious body
leans down, and takes the Arsene Amulet from her.
The battle is over.]
DARK STAR: That was amazing, boss!
SPIKE: Yeah! Super cool!
(honkeytonk Giovanni laugh)
Well, y'know! All in a day's work!
Plus, I gained a ton of
proficiency from winning that battle!
And all that smoke gave me an idea for a new move!
Check it out! Hoo-wah~!
[Giovanni spreads his arms and the area around him is
blanketed in a fog as thick as...
pea soup.]
Not bad, huh?
So! What do you think of the
Fog of Lost Souls!?
It smells delicious, Boss!
I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE YOU MORE!!!
Also it heals you if you stand in it!
Just like real souls!
(moan) What happened?
You TOTALLY Dr. Beefed-It and got your epithet stolen
like a NERRRRD!
Luckily for you, the Banzai Blasters saved the day!
Can I please have my epithet back?
Only if you BEG!
Never, cretin!
Oho, well, that's a shame.
I guess your epithet belongs to the BANZAI BLASTERS now!
No! I want it!
I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!
Give it baaaaack!
Boss. C'mon.
What's that, Bear Trap?
I can't hear it when you mumble like that!
If you want something, speak up!
Boss! Give it back to him.
Please.
Okay, fine!
But only because Bear Trap asked so nicely.
Gotta give her some positive reinforcement, after all.
You're lucky I'm such a good mentor~
[Molly walks over and presses the amulet to Sylvie.
The orange aura returns to him.]
SYLVIE: ...thank you.
MOLLY: You're welcome!
GIOVANNI: Welp! I guess
All's well that ends well!
(corny sitcom laughter)
(EXPLOSION)
COP: Freeze, criminals!
We're da COPS!
GIOVANNI: Oh right! Police!
Well, well, well...
The notorious Banzai Blasters.
We should've known you were behind this!
That's right, coppers!
We're not scared of you or your little peashooters!
This museum's treasures are OURS for the taking!
We shall see!
[The woman steps forward and unsheaths a
Real-ass goddamned sword
and points it at them!]
Whoa!
Is that a real-ass sword?!
Holy crap!
We don't mess around with no
real-ass, goddamned swords.
That's out of our pay grade.
Uh uh. We're done.
Indeed! That's what your
friends said before we captured them.
(Car Crash wimpering) BEN: ...B-Boss!
Aw geez, you guys...
And what of those two?
Are these youths also part of your
criminal cavalcade?
[She gestures towards Sylvie and Molly.]
As IF!
The Banzai Blasters would never hire some
Snot-nosed little kids!
These two are our hostages!
So you'd better not shoot!
[He lifts Molly up and places her in front of him]
Oh no!
I am an unwilling hostage!
I hope I am not hit!
By a gun!
Or a real-ass goddamned sword!
Egads!
She swore!
And I don't feel bad about it!
My innocent youth is already being corrupted by
Bad guy proximity!
No!
Stand down, men.
(evil cackle)
That's right! You wouldn't want to
hit one of those hostages
through the fog by mistake!
Through the "fog"?
What fog?
The fog...
OF LOST SOULS!
(Banzai rabble)
POLICEWOMAN: What!? Where did they go!?
GIOVANNI: So long, suckers!
We'll meet again soon, Bear Trap!
DARK STAR: SEE YA LATER, COPPERS!
POLICEWOMAN: Curses!
Split up and search for them!
We can't let them get away!
I'll look after these citizens.
BEARDED COP: Yes, ma'am!
And who in the world is "Bear Trap"...?
MOLLY: Epithet Erased!
SHEEP: Epithet Erased! Baa!
You think he'll be okay?
Not to worry.
He's sustained some minor injuries
but I think he'll pull through.
It's a good thing he managed to get his epithet back, though.
A dangerous artifact like that amulet simply cannot be
left in the hands of criminals.
I'm afraid this is going to be the start of a
lot of work for the police force.
I wish I got a chance to examine it up close...
(coughing)
Call the number on that card when you
get a room at the hospital, ok?
I'll send over some Get Well toys from the store.
Uh... thanks!
...Molly?
Um...
Did you mean it?
When you said you would... be my friend?
Sure! If you want me to be.
Uh... yeah!
See you!
I hope!
OW! Hey, watch the eyes!
Well, we've wrapped up most everything here.
But I'm afraid we still can't
seem to get a hold of your father.
(Sigh...)
Yeah, that tracks.
O-ow!
Careful with those handcuffs, alright?
I apologize for getting us captured, Lady Mera.
I will do my best to scootch
so you may have as much room as possible.
Shut up, Indus.
[Mera sighs and squeaks in behind him.
She grimaces as her broken bones press against Indus's girth.
...She's used to it.]
[Molly walks over before they shut the door.
Ah, careful citizen.
Just because they're wearing eraser cuffs
doesn't mean they aren't dangerous.
It'll be okay.
...what do you want?
I'm sorry I couldn't give you my epithet.
Really, I am. I just...
(sigh)
I need it to deal with stuff at home for awhile.
But I can at least do this much for you...
[She gently takes Mera's hands in her own
and closes her eyes.
There's a moment of serene quiet.
For the first time in a long while,
Mera doesn't feel...
anything.
No discomfort. No pain. Just...
Quiet.
(soft gasp)
I hope that makes your car ride a little nicer, at least.
Hmph.
If you ever want me to
help with that in the future,
just ask.
You know...
...once you get out of jail.
MERA: [...she doesn't say anything.]
[Indus kind of elbows her]
Thank you.
Can I get a ride home?
Thank you very much for driving me!
You're quite welcome.
I know things didn't go quite as expected today,
but I hope you got the chance to learn something
on your field trip.
...Yeah.
I think I did.
[Molly reaches for her keys...
but the door is already unlocked.]
(sigh) Dad.
[She turns and waves to the police lady.]
Goodnight!
Hm.
What an adorable young sprog.
[Molly flips the CLOSED sign to OPEN and starts her shift.
At 11pm.
...at night.]
...Y'know what?
No!
Flip!
I'm...
Going to bed!
(humming)
(electric giggles)
(humming) ♪
(electric sing-song)
(sinister giggles)
Oooh~
♪ Outro Theme plays
In the dead of midnight ♪
Someone's creeping down the hall ♪
See those yellow uniforms? We're the ones who got it all! ♪
We may trigger an alarm But we never come to harm ♪
Because before the cops can catch us we can call my mom! ♪
We're GREAT AT CRIME! ♪
COP VOICE: Let us rob a shop!
Yeah we're GREAT AT CRIME ♪
BANZAI BLASTER: I think that Bill's a cop...
The boys in blue are here for you ♪
There is nothing they can do! ♪
We scuffle, scram, skeddaddle, up a creek without a paddle ♪
No you cannot rattle us 'Cause we are GREAT AT CRIME ♪
Larceny, incarcerated, arson's kinda overrated ♪
There's no reason to debate it, GREAT AT CRIME ♪
GREAT AT CRIME! ♪