MOLLY: (via radio) Hi, I'd like to report a robbery?
GIOVANNI: (via radio) Hey! Hey! Stop that!
(Molly gasps!)
PERCY: Hello?
Oh dear.
That was the museum's emergency hotline...
And that voice sounded rather young...
(to radio) Sergeant, assemble the squad.
We might have trouble...
(ROOOAAAAAAR!)
Hah...
Tiny thieves may have defeated Dr. Ashling...
But they cannot defeat...
DOCTOR BEEFTON!
AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
(♪Title theme plays♪)
WAKE UP! ♪
You've got a lot to do today ♪
Feel proud and wipe your eyes, 'cause hey! ♪
Stifle the yawn, you stayed up 'til dawn, ♪
Let's see what you been workin' on... ♪
IT'S GONE! ♪
Keep in mind, the ♪
DEADLINE is closing in ♪
Your byline, the headline, they're in the bin ♪
Uncompleted... ♪
All deleted! ♪
WHAT'S GOING ON!? ♪
You'll have to crunch and work 'til dawn 'til you die! ♪
Cut out the corners, cross the Ts and dot the Is! ♪
Whip out the white-out But keep it in good taste! ♪
Just so that no one will ever know it's defaced! ♪
Epithet Erased! ♪
SYLVIE: Episode 3: The Doctor is In!
BEEFTON: Dr. Beefton is HERE!
And he's got a PhD in DEATH!
As well as a doctorate in philosophy
and modern linguistics.
GIOVANNI: B-B-Bear Trap! Do you think you can
un-summon that thing!?
MOLLY: No! Hushabye only works on small creatures!
I can't fight something that big!
GIOVANNI: Uh... maybe we can sneak around him?
BEEFTON: HYAH! GIOVANNI: AAH!
BEEFTON: Hahh...
Looks like Beefton missed...
Next time you won't be so lucky!
Oh yeah!? Not if I hit YOU first!
[Giovanni rips off the knife taped to his bat
with a sticky squelch!
He tosses it in the air, hits the handle,
and sends it flying towards the doctor!]
(squeaky toy noise)
Hmph! Is that all?
GIOVANNI: Huh, I uh... I thought that would work better.
Can I have my knife back?
It's my mom's. She'll be really mad if I lose it.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Oh, thanks! For a minute there I was worried that you were-
THROWING IT AT ME, OH GEEZ!
Hey! I told her I wouldn't break it!
...or I would've told her that if I had asked for
permission to use it... aaagh, which I didn't!
So now she's going to be DOUBLE mad!
[Molly scans Dr. Beefton,
looking for any sort of weak spot.
As he returns his arm to his side, she notices something.
Sylvie's body is floating
suspended inside the monster's torso.]
Giovanni! I think I've got an idea!
This guy has sleep powers,
and that fire he summoned was from my nightmares.
I think this person can make dreams like...
REAL dreams!
Real life dreams!
Maybe this big cow guy is HIS dream,
and all we have to do to beat him is wake him up!
Hmm... Clever girl.
That means Beefton will have to take you out first!
(Molly screams!)
Oof!
Ow...
Bear Trap!
Grr... So!
All I have to do is wake that kid up?
Easy! Take this!
Hmph. Pathetic.
Rrgh! I can't hit that brat!
There's too much beef in the way!
We need another way to wake him up!
What else wakes people up?
Loud noises... light... water...
My mom...
If we don't figure out
something fast, we're doomed!
You're doomed either way, little girl!
Say GOODNIGHT!
Aaaah!
GIOVANNI: Hey!
Torro, torro~!
Hah! Oh, please.
That's the oldest trick in the book!
You think something like that would work on an
academic like Dr. Beefton?
Hah! Ridiculous!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Whoa geez!
There go the turtles.
They never stood a chance...
It looks like some of the lights came loose!
Try shining them in his eyes!
You got it! C'mon, one of these
has to still be working...
There we go! Take this!
[Giovanni takes a stage light in each hand,
and shines their beams into the monster's torso!]
SYLVIE: [Sylvie's sleeping form begins to stir...]
Hmph!
[Beefton buttons the coat,
blocking the light from Sylvie's vision.]
Dang it! Why am I always getting screwed over by cloth?!
Seriously, do you know how expensive this stuff
is at the craft store? Ah! It's insane!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Beefton has had enough of this!
[He takes the bear replicas from Fort Cool Guy,
one in each hand...
and LIFTS THEM LIKE CLUBS!]
Prepare yourself!
Oh my god that is SO COOL!
(Battle cry!)
Less cool! Ah!
(yelps of pain)
[Beefton whales on him with the bears like a drum!]
Haha! No need to worry!
I've still got my secret once-per-battle ability:
Ancient Potion!
[A bottle of healthy soup materializes out of his sweat.]
It sounds gross, but it tastes great!
Down the hatch!
Ah...
See!? All your attacks so far have been USELESS~!
What are you gonna do now, huh!?
Ow! Oh! Oof! Aah! Aaaah!
Oh, I have no more tricks!
Bear Trap! Bury me in a coccoon of dinosaur bones!
MOLLY: [Bear Trap doesn't answer.
Instead, there's a different sound.
(fire alarm wailing) A sharp, wailing sound!
A series of ringing OOHs and BEEPs that drill
right past your ears and into your BRAIN!]
AGH!
What is that horrible sound!?
I found the fire alarm!
Pulling these outside of an actual fire is a crime.
But I'm a criminal now.
So it's okay!
No...
No!
NOOOOOO!!!
BEEFTON: [With each blaring note, Beefton grows smaller and
SYLVIE: smaller until finally the Doctor dissipates into thin air,
leaving Sylvie on the floor...
groggy and moaning...]
Heck yeah! Ho-ho!
Nice work, Bear Trap!
[He hops off the ground]
It's a good thing your energy recovers instantly
after you win a battle!
I'm pretty sure my bones were super broken.
MOLLY: OK! I'm gonna go mute that alarm now
before my misophonia drives me crazy.
How...
I've never been defeated before!
Yeah, well that's just what happens when you mess with the
Banzai Blaster elite!
Bear Trap, you're promoted!
Yay!
Which of course means your
membership fee has been upped to
100 bucks a month!
Oh... I don't have that kinda money.
What?! But your family owns a store!
Doesn't that mean you're like super rich?
(mirthless laughter)
Have to... tell the museum staff...
Can't let you... take the amulet!
MOLLY: Wait... what do you mean?
That tour guide lady is the one who wants to
steal the amulet, not us.
Likely story!
I didn't come here for a stupid necklace!
I came here for mummies and dinosaur eggs!
Maybe a cursed sword that I could
throw at girls or something!
I didn't even know that thing existed until she was all:
(Mera impression) Ooh! I'm going to steal it and take your epithet!
Ooh, look at me, look at me!
Ugh! Jerk.
...you can't expect me to believe that!
It's true!
They were digging through a bunch of
museum property when we found them.
And then them imprisoned us!
She specifically said she "wanted to steal my epithet."
So you're saying I've been tricked?
Y-yeah! But that's alright!
Now we can team up and stop her!
(Sylvie laughs)
Are you kidding!?
*I* am a highly-trained epithet user who
graduated college and became a psychologist at the age of 15!
Like I'd ever cooperate with
criminal scum like you!
Hm.
I'm gonna hit him.
No, wait, we need his help!
But I wanna hit him!
It's okay!
I work in retail!
Most of my job is NOT hitting people,
even when they deserve it!
When you're nice at people, they tend to be nice back.
Hello!
(blows raspberry)
Kid, do you have
ANY friends?
(proudly) No.
Oh.
I'll be your friend.
F-fat chance!
I'm not interested in working with outlaws
who would defile academia!
Um...
I don't know how to tell you this, but...
Awwww, dangit!
Beefton did all that!?
I don't have full control over Dream Big while I'm sleeping...
Oooh, but I thought you were "HiGhLy tRaInEd"~!
Shut up!
Maybe I can plead "self defense"...
You attacked us first, idiot!
YEAH. WELL!
I dunno, okay!?
I just really wanted to get a look at that necklace...
It's okay! It's okay!
We can clean this up later.
We need to team up if we wanna beat that lady.
...fine.
If it means keeping the amulet safe,
I'll do it!
Ugh... alright.
If I must, I shall let you join the Banzai Blasters.
Haha!
Yeah, that's not happening.
Haha! Of course it is!
I'm the leader! You have to follow me!
I'm not becoming a criminal!
And even if I wanted to be one,
why would I follow YOU? You're weaker than I am!
(Giovanni laughs)
That's a weird thing, seeing as how I
DEFEATED YOU!
Shut up! Only because that girl was here!
She is my FAITHFUL MINION, and therefore an extension of
MY POWER!
Um, guys?
I hate to be the Bear Trap of bad news, but...
Well, okay, there's good news AND bad news.
The good news is that the fire alarm went off!
So the museum's up to code!
GIOVANNI: That's good! Safety's important.
The bad news is that... the fire alarm went off.
Which means...
MERA: The police are coming!
The police are coming!!!
Indus!
Indus wake up you FRIDGE!
INDUS: Huh? What? Uh... barrier?
Yes! I am awake!
We have to get out of here!
When a fire alarm goes off in a place like this
it alerts the fire department, the police, the mayor, and...
I DON'T KNOW WHO ELSE!
We've probably got about ten minutes before the
museum is surrounded and then we're screwed!
They'll probably increase security
because of this break-in!
We've lost our one shot at the necklace,
and it's all because YOU
LET. THEM. GO!!!
I apologize, Lady Mera.
I... I did not mean to upset you, I-
Quit wasting time apologizing and DIG!!!
If we don't find this stupid amulet in the next 3 minutes
the last few months of planning were a
TOTAL. WASTE. OF TIME.
(Mera grunts and moans)
Why does everything in my life end up like this?
Yes, Lady Mera...
I am sorry for disobeying your orders...
And I am sorry I know so little about fire alarms.
In the desert the only thing we have to
put out our fires with is sand.
And sometimes it's the only thing we have to eat.
Hey Lady Mera, remember when we ate sand?
MERA: That's it!
Yes, it was all we had.
Really it's impressive I managed to
bulk up so much, given my diet.
MERA: Wh-? No! No, no...
This is IT!
...the amulet.
Finally...
What do you say we go find out if it works?
BEEFTON: I diagnose you with Epithet Erased!
IT'S TERMINAL.
SYLVIE: Epithet Erased~!
Hey, uh... Giovanni?
Bear Trap, please! Call me "Boss."
SYLVIE: (disgusted grunt) MOLLY: Okay, um... Boss?
Yes, Bear Trap?
I was wondering...
...why does your bat have a knife taped to it?
Oh, you mean my SOUL SLUGGER DOOM BAT!?!
(Sylvie groans)
Well, that's a very good question, Bear Trap!
It's so that it does extra damage, of course!
This way I can hit someone with all the powers of a knife,
AND a bat!
I think you're supposed to put the knife
through the bat to do that.
(laughs) What!?
And ruin a perfectly good bat?
I might be evil, but I'm evil on a budget.
SYLVIE: That does raise the question...
What exactly is our plan when we confront this woman?
Run up and smack her with a bat?
Uh, Soul Slugger Doom Bat.
With your toy.
Oh like you're one to talk Mr. Yo-Yo!
Doctor Yo-Yo.
I'm a psychologist.
Oh do they call you that because you got
totally psyched by those museum guards?
Oho! Bam! Hah! Nailed it.
Y'KNOW WHAT!?
Guys...
Oh good. Thanks a lot, four-eyes.
Now I'm setting a bad example in front of my minion!
Like she needs you to set an example.
...why are you following this guy, anyways?
The harsh realities of this world
have forced me into this life of crime.
Ooooh, I love that!
Sounds like the start of a cool dark backstory.
Uh, take me for example!
My parents... are... ghosts!
Dead ghosts! Feel bad now?
Embarrassed maybe.
I wish MY mom was a ghost.
She's just dead.
Listen... if you ever want to consult a professional,
my office is always open.
Oh! Thanks, but I don't think I can afford a therapist.
First session's free!
My specialty is epithet-based problems,
but I've done some domestic stuff before.
Oh, okay!
You can have my card too!
SYLVIE: "The Blyndeff Toy Emporium?"
MOLLY: It's our store!
Yeah! You can go there when you're
in the market for a new yo-yo!
I hate you.
It's true what Sylvie said, though.
If we wanna stop them, we should create
an actionable list of our strengths and weaknesses.
Good idea! Hey, you. What's your epithet?
I'm not telling you my epithet!
That's strategic suicide!
What kinda idiot tells his epithet to someone he just met?
INDUS: Intruder spotted!
Greetings, small girl and others!
It is I, Indus Tarbella, the man who's epithet is Barrier!
I have come to retrieve you, and also prevent the
tall thief from reaching my Lady!
Much like a BARRIER!
...which is my epithet.
I... what?
Is this a joke!?
No jokes! Only epithets!
Of which mine is BARRIER.
Please come with me.
My mistress has located the amulet,
and wishes to speak with you about amulet things!
She found it!?
Grr... We were too late...
Um... Mr. Barrier?
Please, call me Indus!
Mr. Barrier is my epithet.
Indus? She said she wanted to take my epithet, right?
Does that mean the amulet really works?
That's what she wants to find out! Come along, then!
Listen... they don't know that I'm not on their side anymore.
If I can convince them to let me past,
then I could buy us some time before she
escapes with the amulet!
Follow my lead...
(internally) Alright, Sylvester. You need to play this carefully...
One wrong word and it's all over!
This man seems pretty foolish, but you can't be too certain...
It could be some kinda trick!
No one would really be forward enough to tell their
enemies about their powers...
Would they?
Unless...
Of course!
He's trying to lure me into a
false sense of security!
Well joke's on him!
I've never been secure in my life!
And I'm not about to start now!
The game of mental chess has already begun...
First... I'll counterattack with reverse psychology!
The most basic tool in a psychologist's arsenal!
And also our greatest weakness...
And once he's caught off guard,
I'll swoop in for the kill!
Knight takes rook,
bishop takes pawn,
sheep to E5... beef to D2...
Rook takes sheep! Sheep takes beef!
BEEP BEEP SHEEP BEEP BEEP DEEPIN' BEEF SHEEP
Um...
Is he... dead?
He's just been standing there not blinking for 40 seconds.
Dr. Ashling? Knock knock.
Ah! Sheep beefin'! Deep... what?
I hate to interrupt your manic twitching,
but I wish to remind you that we have found the amulet!
You can go right on through!
I'm sure you're quite excited to see it!
SYLVIE: Uh... uh...
Yeah! That's right!
INDUS: Oh it's down the hall and to the left.
Uh. Thanks!
No problem!
My epithet is Barrier!
Now then, Miss Minion... If you'll please come with me.
I... Um...
We mustn't keep Lady Mera waiting!
Uh...
...okay.
No!!!
Huh?
She's not going anywhere with you!
Hm...
Why does your knife have a bat taped to it?
Boss... I've seen him fight.
He's too strong! There's no way we can beat him!
That doesn't matter, Bear Trap!
You're my minion and that means I have to protect you!
If you won't fight for yourself...
then I'll do it for you!
Not to mention I've been
breaking things on our way over here!
I've got 12 hits stored up,
so my next one's gonna be CRITICAL!
I just have to hit him once, and I win!
Just try and take her!
My goodness!
She's your minion... but the two of you have bond so strong
that you're willing to protect...
Her!
It's almost as though you're bodyguarding each other!
Hm.
I think I understand now.
How rude of me to try to separate a
bodyguard from her master...
Very well!
Then let us do things the honorable way!
One-on-one combat!
HMM!!!
Yeah! That's more like it!
My name is Indus Tarbella...
My epithet is Barrier!
Prepare yourself!
I'm Giovanni Potage!
Leader of these Banzai Blasters!
My epithet... is Butt Whoopin'!
I'm the baddest bad guy there ever was!
Very well, Mr. Butt Hwoop!
Our battle begins!
Heh! Don't you worry, Bear Trap.
I'm TOTALLY gonna-
BARRIER.
Giovanni!
Hm! The battle is over...
I am victorious!
Come, Miss Bodyguard!
We don't want to keep Lady Mera waiting!
No...
Giovanni...
Indus?
Before you take me...
Can I ask you a question?
I am always happy to assist a fellow bodyguard!
Miss Lady Mera said she specifically wanted
my epithet, right?
I don't understand... Why mine?
It's not very strong. It's not even that useful.
Hm...Well you see Miss Bodyguard,
Lady Mera's epithet is very strong.
Strong enough to defeat me in a single blow!
But I am afraid her power comes with a price...
A curse.
MOLLY: A curse?
INDUS: Yes. Lady Mera has not
revealed all the secrets of her epithet to me,
but I do know that it keeps her in great pain at all times.
Ever since I began following her, we have searched.
Searched far and wide to find a way to rid her of that pain.
Why... you should've seen the way her face lit up
when she learned about that amulet!
A way to gain a second epithet.
A second power that could heal her!
Something to dull her constant pain...
Lady Mera has waited her entire life for something like that.
And now that she finally has it within her grasp?
She would do anything to get it.
♪ Outro Theme plays
In the dead of midnight ♪
Someone's creeping down the hall ♪
See those yellow uniforms? We're the ones who got it all! ♪
We may trigger an alarm But we never come to harm ♪
Because before the cops can catch us we can call my mom! ♪
We're GREAT AT CRIME! ♪
BANZAI BLASTER: Give me your candy, nerd!
Yeah we're GREAT AT CRIME ♪
BANZAI BLASTER: I use grown-up words!
The boys in blue are here for you ♪
There is nothing they can do! ♪
We scuffle, scram, skeddaddle, up a creek without a paddle ♪
No you cannot rattle us 'Cause we are GREAT AT CRIME ♪
Larceny, incarcerated, arson's kinda overrated ♪
There's no reason to debate it, GREAT AT CRIME ♪
GREAT AT CRIME! ♪